An Open Letter to the Mirror on the Table

Dear Mirror and/or Napkin in the Middle of the Table;

You're not pretty. I know a lot of hotels and conference centers think you are but I'm here to tell you you're not. Contrary to popular belief, you do not make the centerpiece 'pop.' In fact, you make it look real bad. So bad in fact, that I feel like I've been transported back into the '80s when I see you. And trust me, not many good things came out of the '80s so this isn't a complement.

I begrudgingly admit that I've been forced to use you in past events. And it's not because I wanted to. It's because someone thought you were 'pretty.' You can only imagine the heart attack I almost had when I heard you described as 'pretty.' ARGH!

Just last week I wrote a letter to your friend Wrinkled Linen and told him what I thought. Truth be told, I'd rather see him at an event then you. Trust me though, that's not saying a lot about either of you.

So, as I put your friend Wrinkled Linen on notice I must do the same for you. That's why I'm letting my readers know that they should never use you or a napkin in the center of the table lest they are throwing an 80s themed prom.

In true hopes of never seeing you again,
~Jodi